Archive for the 'golf' Category

Tiger wins again

Victory #70
2nd in a row
7th on that particular course
Has won over 50% of WGC tournaments (unfathomable statistic)
Five wins this year in twelve tournaments (ridonkulous)
This was the nail in the coffin

In other news, he will be fined for criticizing a tournament official’s decision to put them on the clock for slow play (40 seconds allowed for [...]

Tuesday, August 11th, 2009

Insane golf fans invade Buick Open

The PGA Tour lost it’s lame factor and turned into an all out party over the weekend in Flint, Michigan. Fans came out in droves, drank their faces off, cheered wildly, and even farted…which brought a smile to methane-lover Tiger Woods’ face.
Let’s recap (courtesy of Yahoo Sports):
• A 51-year-old gentleman was cited late Friday afternoon [...]

Tuesday, August 4th, 2009

Daly shoots sixteen over 88 in second round of Buick Open

John Daly made an amazing run at the leaderboard Friday as he shot a second round 88 (+16) to put himself in contention at +20 for the tournament. Although he is in last place, he did make a ten on the par four first hole to ensure a sizzling start to the day.
You go John. [...]

Friday, July 31st, 2009

Tiger gets cut from British Open

Please begin to move to your bomb shelters.
Stranger things could happen, right?
*Pigs could fly
*The US could adopt Mexico as a state
*RC Cola could overtake Coke and Pepsi
*North Korea and South Korea could unite
*The Wonderlic Test could be adopted as the new LSAT
*The Oakland Raiders will win the Super Bowl in 2010
*Barry Bonds is clean
*David Beckham [...]

Saturday, July 18th, 2009

British Open preview

Tiger wins (and kills)
Potential live updates from Turnberry tomorrow by the JockJoose European staff

Thursday, July 16th, 2009

British Open preview

The 2009 edition of the British Open will be held at Turnberry, a links course on the southern coast of Scotland. The most infrequent member of the rotation of courses in the tournament, it is arguably the most difficult to play. Tiger Woods, who this week visited the course in preparation, has never played at [...]

Monday, July 13th, 2009

[the hot corner] good clean golf

get the paramedics

Thursday, July 9th, 2009

Tiger wins own tournament, A. Kim told to lose

Tiger Woods shot a 67 on the final day of his own tournament, the AT&T National at Congressional, to finish at thirteen under and take home the trophy. Sound fishy?
JockJoose thought so too and sent our golf correspondent, Putty McDraw out to get the real scoop.
“Before the round, I was hitting some balls and up [...]

Monday, July 6th, 2009

Lucas Glover wins US Open!!!

Glover wins, Glover wins!
Who the f is Lucas Glover????!!!!
This was Glover’s second win, the first being in 2005 at the FUNAI Classic at Disney World. Another sick victory for sure.
As anonymous as this man may be, he has still earned 10.5 million dollars in his career in just nine years. That is silly money.
Lucas, [...]

Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009

Daly wrecks bus, surprisingly not drunk

Daly was driving his bigass bus and smashed into a tunnel. The ceiling was too low and when he realized it, he sped up to try to make it through. Needless to say, the tunnel came out on top and debris destroyed a passenger car desperately trying to make it by unscathed. Here is what [...]

Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009

New York fans bring Jets atmosphere to Open

[Deadspin]The New York galleries are so lively, we’ve heard all week. They’re great for golf, and the players love it! Turns out, it’s all just a euphemism for “New Yorkers like to get tanked and heckle Tiger Woods.”
You see, when it’s pouring rain, you’re nearing your 10th hour on a golf course, Tiger’s not in [...]

Monday, June 22nd, 2009

Rocco Mediate emulates Tiger (almost)

Friday, June 19th, 2009

US Open cancelled, course too hard

The 2009 US Open at Bethpage Black was cancelled mid-first round today as the course was too hard for the field of sixty four players, even for fifteen-time major champion Tiger Woods.
“I’d rather never play golf for the rest of my life than play that ridiculous course ever again. Nothing is hard for Tiger, but [...]

Thursday, June 18th, 2009

Michelle Wie Brings Self Gratification to the Golf Course

Thursday, June 18th, 2009

US Open Odds Are In!

Too close to call…

Thursday, June 18th, 2009