With the second leg of the Triple Crown around the corner, horse jockeys are getting excited. The Preakness race at Pimlico, which is notorious for a smaller track, smaller fields, and hordes of drunk dudes carrying baby pools full of beer, has super filly Rachel Alexandra leading the way as the favorite.

In an unheard of move, jockey Calvin Borel, who rode Mine That Bird to a shock Kentucky Derby victory, will be riding the female horse Rachel, who he has jockeyed to five consecutive victories. Rachel didn’t compete in the Kentucky Derby, with the horse citing sexism as a main factor.

Borel commented, “I really wanted to ride Rachel in the Derby, but she was being a real bitch so I told her to stay home. Luckily that loser Bird ran a fluke race and made me king of the midgets once again.”

Upon hearing such comments, Rachel responded, “Nayyyyyyyy.” Luckily, JockJoose correspondent Pat MiStalyin was able to loosely translate into English as, “Please don’t make me run anymore! Don’t make the elves make me run fast! It hurts so bad!

Upon being written off as a favorite after winning the Derby, Mine That Bird remarked, “HeeeeNayyyy.” As translated by Pat MiStalyin, “The horses will rise up and race the humans in due time.”

Hear from our high-pitched buddy Calvin Borel (oh look at him bounce up and down):

Tags: calvin borel preakness, dwarves, horses, preakness