JockJoose has been traveling up and down the east coast the last week looking for news. In the meantime, our loyal readers have continued to fire across mailbag items. Without further ado..

Mark, Tampa – I used to think Florida was cool, but our teams suck now. What the hell is happening? There is no way that I can stoop to the level of being merely a Gators fan, but I have little choice.

Mark, first things first. The Gators are overrated and not deserving of a #1 ranking. This is merely the Tim Tebow farewell tour and anything less than a top ranking would deplete FBS coverage of its favorite Christian. Tim Tebow is a great athlete, but will never be anything more than a great college football player. That said, his stats have declined three years in a row after his ridiculous sophomore season and Florida will lose to Bama in the SEC championship.

I agree with your assessment that Florida pro sports are reeling. Let’s do a run down:

A Ronnie Brown-less Miami Dolphins is merely a mediocre team led by a young quarterback who will never put up big numbers. Ricky Brown is a great story, but he is where it ends. Parcells is talking Browns, so you know things may not be great in the long run there.

The Bucs are even worse. Who is Josh Freeman? Kellen Winslow is a non-factor and the Cadillac is rusting with post-injury syndrome.

The Marlins continue to compete, but without a serious owner who is going to put up the cash needed to be better is not present.

The Rays are fun and youthful, but that World Series trip two seasons ago is long gone and competing consistently with the hated Yanks and Red Sox is a very difficult battle. Just ask the Jays and O’s.

Jacksonville, with the exception of Maurice Jones-Drew, has very little to offer fans. When the owner starts talking about drafting Tim Tebow for the purpose of filling seats, then there are problems.

The Magic….well they are in the NBA…..and the NBA is brutal overall, more so the Eastern Conference. The Heat are off to a very hot start, but in the end will lose Dwayne Wade to free agency as their attempt to bring in a big name fails.

On to hockey…the Panthers are miserable and my bet is that a run of the mill sports fan couldn’t even tell you what city they play in. The Lightning (post-strike) are just another team in the middle of the pack. Sacking Barry Melrose last year is something we didn’t like seeing that Barry is a big JockJoose fan.

In the end, you are screwed and should probably just become a fan of Gulf Coast Riptide.

Shannon, Boise – Why haven’t you posted for a week?

Shannon, we do apologize. Not posting not only pisses off our readers who have nothing to read, but it also hurts our bottom line. A week of silence effectively has cost us over 30K. That said, the news has been bland regardless. This weekend should provide a little fire for us.

Cecil, Richmond – My roommate constantly brags about being a gifted athlete, but he plays rec-league sports and is white. How do I block him out?

Cecil, to shutup someone of his mindset, you must bury him in something he feels he has a talent in. We suggest a game of horse, a simple sprint, or an aerobics competition. You will have to practice as well as gauge his skill level. Otherwise, you will only be a catalyst in prompting him to amp up his comments and potentially embarrass you in front of your friends. Don’t fail.

Brock, Chicago – What pro athlete would you fear most being in a locker room shower with?

Brock, first of all, you are sick and I would never put myself in that position. If this was acceptable, my answer is dependent on a scale in which I rate potential shower partners: Size, mental stability, dong, and police record. The middle two are weighted heavier of course. That said, my nightmare shower partner would be Mike Tyson. No one is a close second.

Sarah, LA – You have one day to live and have one opportunity to beat a pro coach while he is tied to a chair. Who is it?

No owners, eh? Ok then. My gut reaction is Wade Phillips because the way he looks always angers me. Always wearing a WTF face which would only be enhanced by being tied to a chair. However, upon second thought, I would have to take Eric Mangini. He is not only overrated, a prick, and a rat, but he will also be jobless after this year and will have time to reflect on the time he got tied to a chair and hit in the face.

Chris, Dallas – Should Thanksgiving Day rights be revoked from the Lions??? They suck man…

Wow Chris, way to kick a city when they’re down. Do you want to see a mass suicide or worse?

Rick, Cheyenne – Who is a hot woman athlete I don’t yet know. Post a picture please.

Rick, put the hand lotion down pal. Check out surfer Erica Hosseini.

Tags: detroit lions, erica hosseini, florida, iron mike shower, mailbag, wade phillips