The World Cup draw is like Christmas to us world football fans. If you have no idea what we are talking about then think about what it would be like to realign all of the divisions in the NFL or MLB, picking one team at a time. Your bottom would tighten up with every drawing, especially when your team’s fate was in the mixer.

Now apply that globally, especially when your nation is joining the competition for the very first time, or even if your country traditionally sucks, but have somehow qualified and have a ton of national pride. Before we go any further, if you are not a soccer fan, then you’ll need to know some key World Cup facts:

*The championship has been awarded every four years since the first tournament in 1930, except in 1942 and 1946, because of World War II.

*The current format of the tournament involves 32 teams competing for the title at venues within the host nation(s) over a period of about a month – this phase is often called the World Cup Finals. A qualification phase, which currently takes place over the preceding three years, is used to determine which teams qualify for the tournament together with the host nation(s). The World Cup is the most widely-viewed sporting event in the world, with an estimated 715.1 million people watching the 2006 final.

*Of the 18 tournaments held, seven nations have won the title. Brazil are the only team to have played in every tournament and have won the World Cup a record five times. Italy are the current champions and have won four titles, and Germany are next with three. The other former champions are Uruguay, winners of the inaugural tournament, and Argentina, with two titles each, and England and France, with one title each.

*The most recent World Cup was held in Germany in 2006. The next World Cup will be held in South Africa, between 11 June and 11 July 2010, and the 2014 World Cup will be held in Brazil.

In summary, it is the biggest sporting event on the planet and nothing compares to it; not even the Super Bowl.

After the final 32 teams have qualified for the World Cup, a draw takes place to create the eight round-robin groups. Eight teams are seeded as #1 seeds and the rest are placed in geographic groups in order to ensure it is mixed up a bit. South Africa is this tournament’s host.

Now, for our extremely important analysis of the evening:

*Charlize Theron is hot, but does not know anything about soccer. We didn’t even know she was South African.

*France is lucky as hell. One of the last teams to qualify, all because of a hand ball, France truly had a French horseshoe up their arse. They drew the weakest seeded team in South Africa, with Mexico and Uruguay rounding out the group.

*The US was handed a pretty favorable draw. Remember, the top two finishers in each group advance, so don’t mind that first match against England. They also play Algeria and Slovenia who are newcomers and not traditional football powers. Fun fact – Of all countries, the US and England have purchased the most game tickets for this summers WC.

*North Korea is f*cked. They have been paired in the group of death with powers Brazil, Portugal, and the Ivory Coast. They should start drinking now.

*JockJoose is going to the World Cup. Yes, you heard it correctly. LIVE BLOGGING FROM SOUTH AFRICA.

Tags: charlize theron, south africa, world cup