Whoring of the week
August 11th, 2009 by why be athletic | Posted in footie, soccer | 111 viewsJockJoose fell victim to the largest whoring in recent adult coed sports history over the weekend.
Let’s have a recap and let you be the judge on the final decision:
Friday afternoon – Arrive in Virginia Beach. Arrangements to get picked up at airport are blown when it is realized that the wrong airport was communicated. Eh.
Friday night – Must prepare for Saturday morning match. Cab taken to the beach to a cool bar called LunaSea. At least fifteen drinks are consumed and the team gets to know eachother. I snipe a vacationing couple into a two hour conversation. My friend uses questions such as “So what is your soccer style?” to meet the women on the team. They find us as odd drunkards.
Saturday morning – Waking up is difficult. Running is more difficult. Not vomiting is even more difficult, but nothing is expelled. We lose 1-0 in the last minute despite total domination by the JockJoose squad. The chicks on our team are very good.
Saturday afternoon – Game two. After taking a 1-0 lead into halftime, the team decides it is time to dominate. After six second half goals, a 7-0 drubbing feels good. Celebration imminent.
Saturday night – Giant bar tabs. Older navy women with children. Mentally ill personal trainers who talk about ex-boyfriends who reside in prison. Bottles of liquor. No sleep. Excellent game preparation.
Sunday morning – Wake up late. Get to game late. Field soaked. Must run off field after twenty minutes to vomit. Return at halftime and it is still zero to zero.
Now here is where the ultimate whoring occurs. Had we won, we would have advanced to the semifinals. We were clearly going to win once our hangovers subsided in the second half. The referee called the game due to unsafe field conditions due to it being too muddy. The 0-0 draw stands and we are eliminated. There are 19 fields in the complex which are all being used and we cannot continue the game elsewhere. Everyone is disappointed that they traveled to get whored by the officials after traveling hours to the tournament. They give us free t-shirts and cups to try to offset the whoring. It doesn’t work. Saltiness.
Some highlights from the team:
